Typically when someone thinks of therapy, images of a calm and quiet waiting room may appear in their mind. Maybe rain sounds are playing, and the office is filled with mid-century modern furniture and earth tones. As you can imagine, play therapy tends to be a bit different. Especially the sounds!

During the holiday season, we often find that children have more difficulty with emotional regulation. Excitement is abundant and routine falls to the wayside: two things that shrink the level of tolerance children have for dysregulating stimuli.

Adolescence is a period of time that consists of rapid brain growth, identity formation, emphasis on peer comparison, and exploration. Without a doubt, adolescence can be a tricky time to navigate on the parents’ end. Wondering how to communicate with your teen? Wondering why your teen spends the majority of their time alone? These are very common questions received from parents of teens because, let’s face it, this developmental period is not easy for anyone. Especially your teen.

“Human beings are not born with self-control. We have to learn what to do with the mad that we feel. Learning to control ourselves is a long, hard process. It happens little by little. In fact, it is something we work on all through our lives.” - Mr Rogers

Children do not enter this world with bad intentions. Children offer us information, and if we’re courageous enough to listen to the information, we can attune to their inner experiences. We can perceive their behavior as communication, not as manipulation. Children, like all human beings, feel more cooperative when they are treated with respect and kindness. As adults, we do not respond well to people who speak to us harshly or treat us with disrespect - but this can sometimes be our default reaction when faced with our children’s big feelings.

You may have come across the terms “attachment style” or “attachment theory” at some point in your child’s, or even your own, therapy journey. However, you may not have a thorough understanding about what attachment actually means. Attachment theory was first developed in the mid-1940s by psychologist and psychiatrist John Bowlby and was later expanded upon with research conducted by psychologist Mary Ainsworth. A simple definition of attachment is “an emotional bond with another person.” (Buescher, 2022) Simply put, “attachment style” refers to the different ways in which we connect and develop emotional bonds with other human beings. Since attachment can be a focal point of the therapeutic process, I want to dive into this topic a little deeper.

Do you want to know how to hack your brain to feel better? I’d love to tell you about one of my “brain hacks” and it has to do with my favorite cranial nerve, the vagus nerve!

Before I get ahead of myself in this blog, I’ll answer the title question: What is Executive Functioning? Executive Functioning (or, EF, as the cool kids call it) is the “supervisor” or “conductor” in your brain. It helps control behaviors, emotions, and thoughts in order to achieve goals.

Each one of us is unique. We are not one-dimensional beings; rather, we are multifaceted. We each have different tendencies, likes, interests, dreams, and strengths. From our personalities and talents to our physical appearance and biological makeup, no one of us is exactly alike to another person. Looking at our children, we know this to be incredibly true. No child is the same as another, especially when it comes to what makes them feel whole and alive. This is as true for children as it is for adults as we constantly journey towards a sense of health, wholeness, and purpose.